RELATIONSHIPS AND HEARTBREAK
Rebuild the self that got lost in it.
The most magnetic version of you was there the whole time. Heartbreak is a doorway. The room on the other side is the rebuild of who you are.
Next live masterclass: Wednesday 5th August, 7:30pm UK time
THE DOORWAY
Heartbreak is not the wound. It's the moment you meet yourself.
Every relationship that ends, or costs you yourself while it continues, leaves a question underneath it. Not what happened, or who was wrong. Something quieter: who did you become in that relationship, and is that who you want to be?
Most recovery work answers the wrong question. It tries to process the pain, move on from the person, or prepare you for the next relationship. All of that starts too high up. The real work is underneath.
The identity that entered that relationship, the version of you that adapted, accommodated, or disappeared in order to be loved, that identity is the work. Not the relationship. Not the other person. You.
That's what the REBUILD Pathway is for. And relationships and heartbreak is where I've worked most deeply, for longest, and where I've seen the most profound transformations.
You become someone who can sustain the love you say you want. That is the work.
WHO THIS IS FOR
This work was made for you if…
You've been through a heartbreak, divorce, or separation and the words I want to feel like myself again have quietly landed somewhere in you
You're inside a relationship that's cost you yourself, and you're choosing to rebuild from within before deciding what comes next
You're years past a rupture, outwardly moved on, and you can feel something inside you still asking to be rebuilt
You're preparing for the next relationship and you want to do the deeper work before it begins
You've done therapy or coaching before and you're ready for something structured, embodied, and lived
THE APPROACH
Mind, body, and identity. Rebuilt together.
The REBUILD Pathway works with the whole person. Not just the thoughts, not just the feelings, but the body that carried the relationship and the identity that got shaped by it.
Over twelve weeks, we work through all seven phases of the REBUILD method: resetting the nervous system, building new habits, strengthening the body, upgrading the inner dialogue, raising standards, leading your relationships, and designing the life ahead.
I'm a certified personal trainer as well as trained in counselling skills and psychoanalytic theory. That combination is rare. The body holds every story it's ever lived, and it's also the path back to confidence. We use both.
The result is someone who shows up differently in relationships: clear, grounded, with standards that hold and a self that stays intact when things get hard.
THE MIRROR METHOD
The framework underneath the specialism.
Most relationship work teaches people how to communicate. This work teaches people why they communicate the way they do.
The Mirror Method draws on Carl Jung's analytical psychology, attachment theory, and the identity work at the centre of the REBUILD Pathway. The twelve weeks stay exactly as they are. This is the lens laid over them, so that each phase is also applied to how you love.
- 01
The Persona.
The version of yourself you learned to show in order to be loved, accepted, or safe.
- 02
The Shadow.
The needs, anger and desire set aside to stay lovable. What we disown in ourselves often arrives in our relationships anyway.
- 03
Emotional complexes.
Old experiences still shaping present reactions. The size of a reaction points to the age of the wound.
- 04
Attachment style.
How your earliest relationships taught your nervous system what closeness costs.
- 05
Individuation.
Becoming whole rather than becoming perfect. Healthy relationships ask for whole people.
Six relational patterns, held lightly.
Inside the Pathway you will meet six relational archetypes: the Caregiver, the Pleaser, the Self-Protector, the Devoted, the Abandoned Self, and the Integrated Self. These are patterns rather than labels, and most people carry two: one that leads, and one that appears under pressure.
Recognising your own is where the deepest fortnight of the twelve weeks begins.
The Ladder of Conscious Relationships.
Every conflict is an invitation to climb one more step.
Clients who arrive through this doorway work through the Mirror Method alongside the Pathway, one focused piece at each phase, brought into the coaching call.
YOUR GUIDE
Ellis
Brazilian-born, UK-based. My story begins in Brazil at nineteen, with a heartbreak that changed my entire understanding of love, of myself, and of what I was willing to accept. That night became the foundation of every method I now teach.
I've worked in this doorway, relationships and heartbreak, for nearly thirty years. I know what it costs to lose yourself in love, and I know what it takes to rebuild the person who comes out the other side stronger, clearer, and more fully themselves.
I work from what I've lived. That's what I bring into the room with you.
Certified personal trainer, trained in counselling skills and psychoanalytic theory, author of Rise Up. This is coaching, rather than therapy or clinical treatment. When clinical support is the right call, I'll say so clearly.
The version of you that's waiting is closer than you think.
Start with the free live masterclass. Ninety minutes that show you the identity work up close, and where it begins.
Next live masterclass: Wednesday 5th August, 7:30pm UK time